Fallen Away

I feel like I've fallen away - away from life in general - a distinct separation from me and my life. Life seems a little disconnected. I'm thinking it's because of L2 entering our life three weeks ago and the adjustment to a new baby, especially one with some health issues. I cannot believe it has been three weeks. The doctors are happy with her progress - a gain of 2 pounds and a quarter inch, clearer skin, increased activity, and healing wounds. Glen says her stomach is getting smaller, not as hard and bloated. In all reality, sometimes the only thing I can focus on is her throwing up and itching - usually not at the same time. The smell of formula can turn my stomach; my arms ache from holding a baby who is hard and rigid due to lack of human touch. Yet, there she is, our little L2 with a sweet smile, two dimples, and bright dark brown eyes. She follows my voice and must always know where I am. Watching the changes in her can have me do nothing but praise the Lord. Even in my formula stained t-shirt and tired body, God has given us a blessing; a precious little one to care for. So here I am, late at night, wishing I was in bed, writing on the blog, and listening to the little one coo and hiccup as she sits in the walker, I praise God for all these special times.